The Essence of Life!

What is the very essence of life? The things that make you happy, simple things that bring smile to your face or materialistic things, which make your life a bit easy, a little bearable?

For me, life is complete when you realize that you have someone who will always be there and will always support you, no matter the consequences, no matter the society name tags, no matter the name-calling. We always have someone like that with us, but it’s complete only with realization. For me, this realization and these people are the essence of my life.

The idea for this blog generated at DLF Mall of India (Noida, UP), through the sculptures by Manav Gupta. One of the sculptures was of a beehive, titled “Nectar of Life”. Looking (more like staring) at the sculpture made me realize that everything has beauty. You should just have an eye to admire it, it’s very essence makes it beautiful. Just like this, you should have an eye to see the beauty in your life and the people in it make your life beautiful. They are the essence of your life.

That day at GIP affected me so much that I started looking for beauty in everything. Even on one of the visits to my hometown (Lucknow), for once I wasn’t engrossed in some novel or blogging. I was looking out the window to the vast horizon, the clear blue sky, to the beautiful clouds and their marvellous patterns, the pure white clouds with a tinge of orange, to the silver linings…

Some of them were creating beautiful fluffy paths, so close that I can touch them if I want to. The others created such spectacular sight like that of an aerial view of Amazonian Rain Forest, only difference being the color Grey and White. Oh! and some ferocious ones disguised themselves as an atomic bomb explosion. Then there was Orange reflection of Sun on rivers, sometimes making it look like a silver thread weaving through the vast blanket of land.

These things (and many more) combine together to form essence of the universe and help in sprouting life. Sum of these parts make a whole picture, but their singularity, their uniqueness and distinctiveness make the universe as beautiful.

Guys, take some time out of your overly occupied schedules and admire everything around you. Its very easy to criticize but try and look for beauty even in the things you find not quite so. It will be easier for you to find your essence and understand what makes you beautiful.

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Do the things that make u happy!

Coming across two similar things in one day, Gary Vaynerchuk’s ‘Do what you love’ video and Sundar Pichai’s saying ‘A person is happy not because everything is right in his life, he is happy because his attitude towards everything in his life is right’, urged me to have a go-through at my current situation.

Everyone passes through hardships but it depends on how you tackle the situation and come out as a winner. Whether it’s professional or personal, your attitude guides you towards the ending, sweet or sour.

I have been trying to learn Guitar since last two years and couldn’t even take the first step of joining a music school. Whatsoever may be the reason, my zeal wasn’t enough. Every time, I (or some other people) used to find a new excuse and the plan went down the drain, completely.

In his video, Gary Vaynerchuk has talked about doing what you love, pursuing your passion, taking out time for the few things which make you happy. And this is what I did, started planning for the one thing I have been procrastinating for nearly two years. As my new year resolution, I have joined Guitar classes and practice it daily for one hour.

After completing nine hours at office, playing Guitar is like meditation to me. Its been just three weeks and I feel it cleansing me, increasing my concentration. Although my finger tips are numb from pressing the strings, I love it. It makes me more enthusiastic to play everyday and just enjoy myself.

Taking one small step at a time towards your goal. Truly satisfactory. If you put your mind and heart to it, the after office hours (7 to 12) are more than enough to pursue your dreams.

Dreams & things we do for them…

Dreams have a nasty habit of getting entangled with life and make a mess. Still we dream and try to fulfill them. Dreams help us to set goals and work our ass off to achieve our potential.

We Indians have grown up with certain stories/epics of our culture, which are embedded so deep in our minds and hearts that we don’t even want to think about a different aspect to the whole scenario. 

I am totally into Hindu mythology. Since I was a toddler, stories of how Ram was a maryadaputshottam, how Ravana kidnapped Sita and how Ram destroyed Lanka to free his wife was part of my life. The story of Mahabharata, the evil Kauravas and the mighty Pandavas. The king maker and Ranchor Krishna. These stories always fascinated me and sort of imprinted on me about rights and wrongs. It never occurred to me that may be just may be their was a different perspective to all this.

Since last few years, I have been reading books of Devdutt Patnaik. He writes about Hindu mythology, giving elaborate descriptions for the stories we are reading since childhood. Another author, Anand Neelkantan, sends you diving in a totally different wave and in a new direction.

Currently I am reading Ajaya (Epic of Kaurava Clan) by Mr. Neelkantan. It revolvs around Suyodhana aka Duryodhana and highlights his life on a different canvas. Portraying each character of the story as a normal human being and not gods/goddesses/demons. I have also read Asura (the tale of Ravana and his People) by him and it has surely open my thinking to new horizons.

In all these stories, one thing was common: everyone was doing everything in their power to realize their dream and it all boils down to making your dream come to reality. If any of you think that their is always a grey area and not everything is black and white, you should read these books.

Generation Gap! Really??

One day, sitting and minding my own business at Pizza Hut (GIP, Noida), I overheard the conversation of four women, possibly in their late 20s. Probably friends or colleagues, they were discussing about their MILs (Mother-in-Laws). None of them were having a respectable tone and they were pretty loud.

One was concerned about her MIL taking care of her only son, the other was worried about her husband being a Mamas boy, third was talking about her MIL’s inclination towards the sister-in-law. But the one who peeked my interest was the fourth friend.

Apparently her MIL wants her to do all the household chores and doesn’t allow to keep a full time maid. She even asks her to do the chores for which they have hired maid (they have a maid for few of the chores) 🤔. Then why the hell did you hire her in the first place. There were several other things but most shocking was that the MIL doesn’t allow her to go out with her husband, ever. She fidgets, throw tantrums and creates a scene in front of relatives whenever the husband-wife ask to go out.

With all due respect to our elders… Seeking permission to enjoy your life, shop and relieve some of that stacked-up office stress, to spend some quality time with your spouse? It doesn’t seem right to me.

Anyways, that’s just my point of view. I’m not against family outings, I’m just in favor of giving private space to husband-wife. Today it is one of the major issues faced by couples living in joint families and also is one of the hot topics of altercation between them. Even if such issues are discussed in the family, elders take it otherwise and make it a point of disrespect.​

Why does everything boils down to disregard or disrespect for few of the members of our previous generation? We understand that you haven’t gone out with your spouses… those were different days… a different time… that generation was more into “what people will say!” dilemma… but we are more inclined towards understanding each other and respecting their wishes. We are in 21st century… we see everything in a different light. It’s a brave new world, which makes decisions without an iota of doubt and takes full responsibility for their deeds.

As per the reaction of elders, we can only request them not to look at it as a blatant disregard or neglect. It’s just how the youth are today. 

It’s not the generation gap. It’s just that millenial’s understanding of life is different from that of the elders. It’s not easy to impose ideologies on us and life shouldn’t even be like that. 

Our generation requests you to please be happy when your son shares a laugh with his wife, be delighted when they hold hands, just ignore if he unknowingly calls her with those beautiful pet names. Don’t patronize them.. don’t agonize them. Give them time, freedom… and in the end you will be proud of what they have become and to what extent have they taken their relationship.

Just give them space to grow… together as a couple.

Everyone Deserves a Chance @ Love!

Everyone needs love in their life… its an elixir which helps you move on, which helps you in aspiring for goals and achieving them. Family friends anyone… the person who understands you, supports you, lends you a shoulder to cry, a hand to hold in trouble.

I’m a little shy when it comes to conversing with people, not exactly introvert but someone who takes her own time in opening up to people and trusting them. But by God’s grace, I have got a wonderful husband, love of my life… sometimes so damn irritating that I can’t bear it 😉. In one way or another I’m lucky to have him, a person who is mine for the rest of his life.

I got my chance at love and grabbed it with both hands but there are many who never get this chance and are even denied happiness.

I don’t have any LGBT friends but I’ve come across several blogs/articles either written by or in reference to them. Many of them don’t come out of the closet and deny their very existence due to the fear of society and non-acceptance. Many are into abusive relationships, fearful or unsatisfactory marriages, just to avoid society’s radar and deemed imperfect.

It’s really sad that they are discriminated based on their orientation. They are denied acceptance based on who they are and who they choose to love. Even the educated and so called modern society look at them with disgust. Why? Why does the society think that they aren’t worthy of anything beautiful? Why do we think that they aren’t worthy of moving up the success ladder? Why do we think that they aren’t worthy of love? Why aren’t they even considered human?

I have seen/read about several LGBT community members who are eastablished in their respective fields but only they know about the compromises & sacrifices made to reach there. Many had no-one by their side to support or guide when they were humiliated, when they were treated in such in-human ways, when they were alone and needed love.

We are the reason behind their suffering. We are the reason that they don’t feel safe coming out and declaring who they are. We are the reason that they are unable to find love. And only we can change these circumstances. 

Change yourself, change your thinking, change the way you look at them. Just change yourself and the world will change itself!

Outside the Walls…

The walls surrounding me,
I came here after marriage,
Its my home…
Or is it?

Within these walls,
I am a wife, a lover, a sister,
a daughter…
Or am I?

Within these walls,
I am myself, proud, confident,
happy…
Or am I?

You will always get
the best from me,
best of whatever you want…
within these walls.

But outside,
I will be…
independent, strong, zealous,
courageous, self sufficient…
Outside these walls,
I will be ‘ME’!

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The Unchanged Story…

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India, a land of Shakti, the goddess who is worshipped as an eternal deity. A land where women are considered as an incarnation of Shakti. A land where women are worshipped during the nine days of Navratri fast. And a land where same women are stopped from taking a flight of their dreams… their wings clipped. It is a land where two extremes live together, not in harmony, just bearing each other.

But at some point someone has to question and demand answers. Someone has to take a stand for the equality of men and women. Someone has to raise their voice. And that’s what Sarah did.

Since last 10 days Sarah had been thinking about that night. Why wasn’t she able to control her feelings? Why did she say something which was wrong on behavioural point but correct otherwise? Why wasn’t she able to continue the same life? Life which revolved around office, home and Saraj.

Sarah, an independent IT professional, was trying real hard to mend her life and find the right track but all her efforts were in-vain. None in her family were speaking to her or even considering her as a member. But then they never did consider her a family member. She was always a odd one out, someone who came from a different family, someone who was taking Saraj away.

Sarah often wondered would she have said “I contribute to the monthly income of this house” if her mother-in-law hadn’t continuously reminded her “Its not your house and you can’t do whatever you wish. You will have to do whatever we like”. She wouldn’t have said “It’s my car as well… I also pay the monthly EMI” if her mother-in-law hadn’t continuously reminded her “It’s not your car, It’s my son’s. My son bought it and hence it’s my car”. She wouldn’t have considered herself better than Saraj if her mother-in-law hadn’t continuously reminded her “You are a woman. You will always be beneath your husband. You have no existence apart from being Saraj’s wife. You should always say Sorry to him even if its not your fault”. She wouldn’t have uttered anything if only they gave her the love and respect she deserved.

These are such small things, but that night Saraj took it to the next level. Frustrated Sarah to an extreme that she said things which she never meant. She loved him but now even she was in dilemma.

In one night, Sarah was branded a bad daughter-in-law and a pathetic wife. Even the one who married her didn’t want to listen to her. She knew that this wound will never heal.

Again a voice was silenced, words shattered, equality demeaned…

Same is the story of every independent married woman. Why this discrimination? Why women like Sarah are judged by what kind of wife or daughter-in-law they are? Why men aren’t judged on same credentials? And plight of the situation is that the people judging them are the women who went through the same phase but in a different time period…

Some stories are always “unchanged”, regardless the time and people.